having to choose

I woke up from my self-induced deep sleep

and realised that the world around me isn’t flat

but round.

realised that I’m no longer liked and  have to think

what to do and do it,

what to eat or scavenge,

hunt and eat roots atop trees.

I’m not getting fulfilled because I’ve seen

man and how cruel he can be whenever provoked.

I’ve become unsure of the world and my surroundings.

I feel like reading a book but my eyes are itchy and red.

I think about listening to the radio but gospel sounds

like political speech.

I’m from a farmyard where things are slow and quiet,

and now find myself having to choose between;

new technology and an empty stomach,

new wardrobe full of clothes and faith in God.